How quick are we to judge a book by its cover? More so with people. Millions of selfies are posted daily. But what lies under the filters, or the half second smile? So many times I catch people taking these photos. Once photo is taken, the smile is gone and they continue on with their life. I often wonder if they are truly happy?
As a writer, I force myself to feel all kinds of emotions to breathe my characters to life. I must look beyond their selfies and peel back the layers that lie beneath.
Surprisingly, I find it therapeutic as it reminds me of similar experiences in my own life. Yet, sometimes, it pulls me into a pool of despair; bringing the not so good feelings so close to the surface it actually feels as if it is happening to me.
Writing a book is much more than a journey, it is opening a portal into another realm where you feel, taste, and smell whatever magic you bring to life. It makes you face difficulties and it opens your eyes to a filtered view of reality.
But what happens when I am not writing? When I am in reality?
After writing my first book, I have found myself viewing the world differently. Even relationships differently. I watch people more, hear them more closely.
There are often times I find myself new characters for my book. I have also found myself jokingly telling my coworkers, “If you make me mad, I’m going to murder you in my next book!” Of course they know I am one hundred percent kidding that I would never dream of murdering them, it makes for an interesting response on their behalf….well, except when they ask if they will get royalties. “Okayyy, Dr. Thomas, no you will not get any royalties. Just a painful death.”
Anyways, getting back to the theme of #selfie.
In reality, it’s a way to represent yourself. It’s a way to show the angle that looks best to all those followers who don’t personally know you. Because, honestly, the ones who know you….know you without your filters and know you are still just as beautiful. Just know, your filters might make you look good on the outside, but make sure you are taking care of yourself and let your inside be true. Because there will always be those haters who will try to tear you down. Right?
Now let’s talk about #bitchface.
I suffer from this at times, but there are those who suffer even more. They, too, are judged too harshly.
There is this guy I know who has this bitch face. But, no matter, I always make sure to say hi to him. So when he says hi back, or often times says hi to me first, I know he can’t be truly reflecting inside what he projects outside. If he truly hated life, he would not make this small effort.
One day I decided to get to know him. I wanted to uncover the true identity of this person who rarely smiles. For if you know me, I love to laugh and smile, so it saddens me for others not to have this joy. What I uncovered was not what I expected. His love for musicals and classical music, along with photography, unraveled out of him. The way he talked about it allowed me to see that joy inside him. What was even cooler is I, too, am a fan of these things. So it made for a wonderful conversation.
Later on, in our conversation, he confessed that I was the only one that made an effort to get to know him. He blamed his resting bitch face, for he knew it intimidated others.
I hated to hear that.
But I am, too, at fault for being the person to ignore others that I feel are not inviting. I might have made this person feel good by noticing him, but what about others I have let slip through the cracks?
I guess what I am trying to say is, smile at the resting bitch facers….for inside they might be smiling at you and wanting to be noticed.
Of course, there are serious bitch facers out there….and you will find out pretty quickly whether they want you near them or not.
And in that case…..run.